INTO OLDER WOMEN
Q: I am a 21 year old Indian guy. For some reason I’m really into older women. I’m trying to find someone who is in her late 30s or early 40s in my area. How do I do that?
A: You could look at dating sites that specialize in “cougars” (one that comes to mind is www.cougarlife.com) or any other site that lets you pick the age category you are looking for. Be aware that many women in that age group (that stage) may be looking for something serious and long term, and will not take a 21-year-old man too seriously for that. If she is looking for something serious, do not lie to her saying you want the same if it is not true. It is wrong to waste her time. Be honest about what you are looking for, and be honest with them about your intentions. Those that are interested will be happy to have some fun with you, and those who want something more serious will know that it is best not to date you.
AM I GAY?
Q: I consider myself straight and am attracted in every way to women, but I sometimes watch gay or bi porn and am sometimes sexually attracted to guys. What would my orientation be?
Q: So for a while I believed I was straight and I only liked guys but then every single time I see this one particular women at my work I just wanted to undress her and feel her orgasm on my fingers. Does this make me lesbian or bisexual?
A: Sexual orientation is not black or white, straight or gay. There are lots of shades of grey. Sexual orientation exists on a continuum. There is a test that has been developed by a research psychologist, Dr. Robert Epstein called the Epstein Sexual Orientation Inventory. It asks you all kinds of questions about things like whether you have experienced distress about your orientation, whether it has changed, what your fantasies are, your same sex experiences. The result puts you somewhere on that continuum. Bear in mind that most people fall all along this continuum rather than being completely at one end or the other. In a nutshell, determining your orientation would take into account several factors: 1. How you identify 2. Who you have sex with 3. Who you fantasize about and 4. Who you fall in love with. To take the test, go to www.mysexualorientation.com
FORESKIN ISSUE
Q: I am Indian and in our religion they don’t remove foreskin on birth. Not that I believe in religions to that extent but I got some problem. My foreskin retracts when my penis is not erect. But when it’s erect I can’t retract because it’s very very painful when I try to. Also tried to retract first then getting erection and it hurts so much that I can’t even get it all up. Please help.
A: It sounds like you may have what is called Phimosis—the inability to retract the foreskin which can cause pain with erections. This is a rather common condition which could be treated by special creams or circumcision. This needs to be checked out by a medical doctor. If you want to find out more about this condition, go to www.urology.ucsf.edu