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Booty Pop

When girls (sometimes men) are physically capable of separating their butt cheeks and shaking it. There is no movement in any other body part, not the legs or lower back, just simply the bootay. It's crazyyy

'dayum dat beezy sure no how to booty pop that ass.'

When I asked two of my close male friends what my next blog should be about, I was thoroughly humored by their answers. While one friend suggested burlesque dancing (apparently Lexi Belle is all about that these days) the other insisted on virgins (annnnnd since those are non-existent on Pornhub). The conversation then led to a variety of Maury Povich-esque themes and topics...I essentially ended up from where I started off, with nada.

Between selecting sexy vids for the @Pornhub Twitter account and scoping out the hot uploads you folks throw at us I watch a LOT of porn daily. Like, a fuckload. So much in fact that sometimes when I leave work and am on public transit, I automatically see everyone I look at fucking. Naked and fucking. Though unintentional it makes me wonder if I'm starting to develop one seriously warped super power (though I've always wanted a super power). Bottom line is that I view an insane variety of videos on a regular basis, while I have my favorites and my least favorites (hello fucking with sunglasses on!!?? Wtf!) I thought it would be rad to share one of my favorites of the week with you. Even though she may not be a burlesque dancing virgin, I have happily viewed this babe at LEAST 8 times this week and have to yet to tire of her! (Make sure to have your headphones on for this one ;)

While not as raunchy as, let's say, Double Penetration, I think the words mesmerizing, captivating, and even gripping could be used to describe this video....not to mention HOT.
After seeing this pure gold I both decided (and announced to my 6000 followers on Twitter) that learning to Booty Pop was my new goal in life (orrrrr for the week...whatever held my attention longer). After positioning my medium sized white ass in front of the mirror at home I embarked upon what I discovered to be...one tough mission. My first attempts failed terribly as all I managed to do was pucker my entire ass in (you know what I mean? When you tense both of your ass muscles at the same time?) Not very attractive, nor did it mimic anything in my beloved video. I attributed my loss to lack of talent..or maybe even size. After crying myself to sleep for numerous nights in a row I found myself asking, maybe I just don't have enough booty....maybe I JUST wasn't meant to booty pop!?

It was a random run in with a close friend and coworker that turned this story around. After confessing my latest failed mission she pulled me aside and coached me in the art of 'Booty Poppin'. After listening to her instructions and watching closely I managed to pull out any inner Beyonce, Coco or J-Lo I had going on. Positioning myself in front of a mirror yet again, I finally saw what I believed impossible....my right ass cheek rising, or poppin')followed by my left. I bore witness to the beginning of something beautiful... I like to think my stumbling across this Booty Shaking video falls along the lines of divine fate. Maybe watching retarded amounts of porn IS the best thing that has ever happened to me!?

Though still harnessing my new talent I am giving serious thought as to where I will use it to make the world a better place. Perhaps in seniors homes? For charity events? Work functions ? The options are endless...

I leave you some Booty Poppin Tips and another 'Booty Shaking' video (there is actual fucking in this one!)

Jordan's Tips For The Perfect Booty Pop

- Keep in mind the magic is in the small of your back.
- Make sure you are relaxed, do some stretches before you pop that shit
- Stick your ass out slightly
- Pretend there is string connected to that fine ass of yours and it's being pulled up towards the sky
- Pull up one cheek and then the other
- Keep practicing this slowly
- Speed that shit up and eventually add music
- Taste the victory as you realize you have just made your life a little richer

All Comments (2)

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7 years ago
...it's a damnable CRIME that you posted that last video, and it WASN'T you in front of that mirror! You painted such a wonderful picture, I saw ONE MORE EMBED... and it wasn't you. I believe that I must register a customer service complaint for this misleading advertising
7 years ago
LMAO, too funny, please teach us visually how to do the booty pop im a visual learner lol lexi belle is hot=D
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