You may know what you like, and your partner may know what they like, but how do you take the plunge and integrate pornography into your partnered sex life? If you’re looking to spice things up, adding porn watching into your sexual routine is just about one of the easiest and most accessible ways, but the road there can be a bit fraught. What if you hate what they love, or vice versa? What if you find out that you’re super kinky and that they like soft-lit softcore? Jump into the world of partnered porn watching gently, with the following tips:
- Find the content developers you like and stick with them. Actors/amateurs generally stick to what they are good at and will have similar plots, tones, themes, and acts performed from one film to another.
- Browse categories. Think of what sexual acts you fantasize about and browse those categories. This is a great opportunity for discovering what is in the darkest recesses of his/her fantasies.
- Look for highly rated categories. If you are having difficulty finding the director or categories that work for the two of you, these categories are a safe starting point.
- Privacy is key. Find time and space when you know you will not be disturbed. The last thing you want is to be thinking about the kids bursting in at any minute while you are watching something hot.
- Talk about what you are interested in before you begin looking for a stream. This will help you find a comfortable starting-point.
- Pick something out together. Get something that you are both interested in. This is a great environment to talk openly about your interests and find out what his or her turn-ons are. Have fun with it.
- It’s ok to laugh. It’s an ideal icebreaker to mutually laugh at the awkward situations etc.
- Start off with something mild. “Couples” videos are a great place to start and tend to be less threatening.
- Fast forwarding is your friend. If something doesn’t work for either of you, fast forward. Note: Before you leap for that button, make sure you KNOW for certain it is not a secret turn on for your partner.
- Talk about it. Joke about it. Porn is an excellent way to open up communication about what technique he/she likes or doesn’t like. And, it’s a way to tell them gently what you would like more or less of.
- But don’t make fun of porn TOO much. You may be inadvertently criticizing what really turns her on. Or you may “ruin” the mood.
- Pay attention to physical cues. Is she or he looking on in horror as their body turns rigid, or are they sidling up to you, while squirming in their seat? This is an important distinction. Observe…and you will be rewarded.