If you are single, and you do not want to be, one thing is probably true; you have not made your love life a priority. What makes me say that? Well, you say that you do not want to be single, and yet you are single. That means you are either lying (and I would rather not assume you are a liar), or you simply haven’t made getting into a relationship a priority, and the results are that you are still single.
Keep Time in Mind
Whether you are a newborn, in the prime of your life, or nearing the end of it, each of us has only 24 hours per day to make the most of what life we have.
The actions you take today shape your future, minute by minute.
If you spend your time on distractions, rather than focus on a goal, the only certainty is that you will have lost time.
If you spend your time taking small actions, and making tiny changes, to your everyday routine, all of which are related to your love life goals, then you will see some kind of results based on the time you have already invested.
It does not matter if you are embarking on your very first kiss, if you are re-entering the dating scene after a long absence, or seeking out a different kind of love affair than you are used to experiencing; each of us still only has 24 hours per day to make the most of what we have.
Stop Wasting Your Time
Stop Wasting Your Time means that you realize that your “time” is a resource of a very limited supply. You cannot get back any time that you already spent. All you can do is focus on the time you have left. When it comes to the desire to no longer be single, how you spend your time is very important.
Maybe You’re Just Unlucky
Some people just get lucky and are at the right place, and the right time, and connect with another person at the right moment. It could happen.
However, whether or not it could happen one day is not the issue.
The issue is that it has not happened for you yet.
The reality is that it does not happen for everybody, and it might not happen to you if you leave it up to chance.
And since it did not happen for you, that means that you are just going to have to work harder to not be single than other people had to work.
That means you have to make it a GOAL, and that makes it a PRIORITY.
What Priority Means
When something is a PRIORITY in your life, you put everything else that is NOT a priority aside, so that you can dedicate yourself to reaching that goal.
It requires you to focus on doing whatever it is you need to do in order to have a love life you want.
So here are 5 ways to make your love life a priority this year:
1. Stop hanging out with unavailable people
You need time to meet someone to be in a relationship with. You need time to get to know them. That means not spending time with people who are wasting it for you.
No more long conversations or encounters with one of your ex-lovers who happens to be lonely and wants to temporarily enjoy your company.
This also includes that friend of yours that you are in love with, and continue to ask out, but rejects you again and again. Spending time with someone that continually rejects your attempt to take your friendship to the next level is wasting your time.
And finally, no more hanging out with friends that are couples. No more babysitting for them, and no more being the only single person in a social circle filled with couples. You need to stop hanging out with established couples if you want to end up in your own couple.
2. Reschedule your obligations and get support
Now, some people have incredibly full schedules. They have obligations that take up most of their free time.
For example, some adults fall into the role of caregiver for their old and ailing parents because they were the last of their siblings to find a life partner and move out.
Another example is someone that runs a business and every second is devoted to some area of management.
Single parents have their children to look after, and single students may be juggling graduate studies and part-time work.
If you are in such a situation, you may need to be more assertive in asking for help in order to get the time off you need to have a love life. Call your family members in to help in the care of your parents, hire an assistant that can free up some time for you, arrange to watch someone’s else’s kids every other week in exchange for you getting a free night a week to yourself, be mindful of the course requirements of the classes you sign up for in the upcoming semester.
I am not suggesting you slack off on your obligations. However, a little organization and willingness to acquire help can give you the time you need to have a love life.
3. Drop any hobbies or activities if there are no other singles to meet
If you have hobbies which are enjoyable pastimes (stamps, reading, genealogy, knitting) but do not allow for you to interact with new people in real life social settings where you can explore a potential romance, you are wasting your time. Use that time to take up a new activity like a dance class, or create a meet up group, where you must interact with others and potentially find a connection.
You may have to sacrifice some very enjoyable solitary hobbies, and you may not have to give them up completely, but carving out a niche of time for your love life, can give you the freedom to enjoy your hobbies even more. After all, hobbies are meant to pass the time, not to fill it.
For every hobby that you eliminate, replace it with a hobby that forces you to interact with others. If need be, recruit a friend to go places where the point is to meet and talk with new people. However, true priority means you are willing to do it on your own.
4. Heal to know what you want
You will find what you are seeking a lot faster when you can clearly define what it is you are looking for. One of the reasons you might still be single, is that in your heart, you really do not know who you are, or what you actually want out of a relationship.
This process might be more challenging than you might think. It could just be a matter of writing out a list of criteria you seek in a potential partner. Or it could require more on your part, such as taking measures to HEAL from your past baggage. A horrible self-esteem, unpleasant childhood, or just a nasty broken heart from your previous relational attempts could all be contributing to your inability to get a new relationship.
If your past is holding you back, get the help you need, and HEAL.
One of the great aspects of healing and learning about yourself and what you seek, is that it pulls you out of your own head, and allows you to see things that you never saw before, including when other people are showing indications of interest in you. Believe it or not, part of the reason you may still be single is that you completely miss the signs and hints others send your way, because you are too pre-occupied with your own issues.
Clear up the issues, know what you want and start seeing the signs when someone is attracted to you.
5. Be open about wanting to meet someone
It is not the job or obligation of any of your friends to help you find love. However, a true friend does not stand in your way from finding happiness and a great friend will want to help you meet the right person and experience love.
Let anyone and everyone know you are open to meeting people and how much it would mean to you to connect with someone. Just by asking, you increase your chances of meeting new people.
Wanting to make your love life a priority is nothing to be ashamed about. Be proud that you want to experience love for yourself.
You deserve that kind of loving commitment of your own, with your own life partner and family if you want it. You just have to make different choices than you made in the past, to get it.
There is nothing wrong with being single if you’re happily single. However, being single when you would give up everything going on in your life, just to have someone to share that life with, can be one of the worst feelings of isolation known to the heart.
Time is one of the only resources you have a constantly diminishing supply of. You cannot actually “make” time. All you can do is choose how you are going to spend your remaining time. The minutes continue to tick away, lost forever, even as you continue to read this online post.
Go for it.
If you are Single and would rather be dating, Sign Up for Coaching For Singles.
To learn more about what Frank Kermit can do for you please visit www.Franktalks.com.