Early Ejaculation
Q: I’m a married man and I’m facing a serious sexual problem. My dick gets hard, but immediately after I start having sex, I ejaculate. I have researched and turned to several methods, but it’s not helping. I need help to save my marriage.
A: Premature ejaculation is a common affliction. Luckily, there are options to help you out. The first step is through practice, using a stop and start technique. Start by practicing deep breathing. The next step is to masturbate with no lubricant, stopping right before your point of no return, then taking a few deep breaths, then resume the stroking, and repeat multiple times. Next, masturbate with lubricant using the same technique as above. Then move on to having your partner masturbate you (first without lube, then with). Next, do the same stop and start technique with oral sex. When you have managed to prolong your ejaculation with these sexual activities, move on to intercourse (during intercourse, do the same starting and stopping). I hope that your partner will cooperate with you as this will make it more likely to succeed. If all this fails, you can consult with your medical doctor, who can prescribe a low-dose antidepressant. This is used for PE because of its side effect of delaying ejaculation. Unfortunately, you may experience other unwanted side effects as well.
Premature Ejaculation Accompanied by ED
Q: Dr. Laurie, it’s embarrassing for me to say, but I cannot control myself when I enter into my girlfriend, I’m afraid soon she’ll look elsewhere. What can I do to stop this from happening? I’ve tried masturbation, edging to where I stop and start up again. Being 42 years old, I also notice I’m suffering from ED as well, please help with some suggestions.
A: Your erectile dysfunction may be due to the anxiety you are feeling about ejaculating too quickly. You are on the right track with edging exercises. You have to move from masturbation to having your partner masturbate you, and help you with stopping and starting also with oral sex. During intercourse, also practice stopping and starting. If you do not seem to be recovering from this, I suggest you seek the help of a sex therapist and bring your partner along.
Causes of PE
Q: Doctor, I have a problem with premature ejaculation. I can’t even stay hard for a minute. I think it’s from years of frequent masturbation. I am not yet married. Please tell me how to go back to normal.
A: Oftentimes, men develop rapid ejaculation because of masturbation under hurried conditions. In other words, you want to get it done quickly because you do not want to get caught by your parents for example. So you end up learning how to come fast. Using masturbation, you can train yourself to extend the ejaculation time. First you have to be aware of the point of no return—that moment when you feel that orgasm is inevitable. You would stroke until just before that point, then stop for a few seconds, then resume again and repeat this process multiple times. For the record, the majority of men ejaculate after somewhere between 2 and 5 minutes of penetration. Also keep in mind that a good lover will spend time on his partner with foreplay, which is far more important for women’s orgasms.