Q: How often is too often to see someone new you are dating? Is it too much to date the girl 3 times in the same week right at the beginning? Should I wait and only see them once a week or even less? Would it make me seem to desperate guy if I ask to see the person again in the same week? Is it more alpha male to make her wait?
-Alpha Male
A: Why would you only have to meet them once a week? What if you really like them and you want to see them again that week? If you think that the person you met could be “the one” that could make it work, and you really like the person, there is no issue with seeing that person more than once a week in the beginning. You want to give it a chance to find out if the person is for you, and if seeing that person more than once a week can help you do that, do it. As long as you do not appear to be too clingy at the beginning of dating, seeing a person you really like once every couple of days would be all right.
Q: I am a woman over 50 trying online dating. I meet a lot of men, but I do not want to be with a man with younger children. My kids are grown and I want to date a man whose kids are also grown. I know what I want and I know what I don’t want. I get some first dates, but no second dates because even if they want to see me again, I do not want to see them again. It is very difficult to meet exactly the type of man that I want to meet. Compromising becomes more difficult with age I think. Am I being too picky? What would be your advice?
A: Wanting a man with grown-up kids is fair because you are in a stage of your life where your kids are grown up and you want someone at the same stage of life as you are. If you had kids young, that may not happen that you find a man in exactly the same situation as you, so you may have to consider that. It sounds like you are done raising kids and I can totally respect where you are. If what you were lacking with the men you have already met was chemistry, then try to be more patient. Chemistry does not always spark on a first date. Sometimes it takes a few dates to get it to happen. Be patient and give each guy you liked on the first date a second date to see if any of them stand out to you in a way that was missed on the first date. Remember the old saying that women can learn to be attracted to people they fall in love with.
Q: I am attractive, intelligent and educated. I like to travel and looking for someone to build a future with. I like to meet people. I am honest. I am loyal. I am monogamous. I enjoy life and culture. But I am single. What am I doing wrong?
-Lonely
A: For starters, do not focus on what you have. Focus on what you have to offer. You just described yourself with “I am”, “I am”… tell me what it is you have to offer a potential relationship candidate. That is going to help you connect better with people. Let them know what you are looking for. For example, it does not matter that you are educated. That could mean anything and does not tell a potential partner what you have to offer. However, if you can talk about the kind of lifestyle you have and how there is room there for someone else that is better for you to attract someone to date you.
Q: I am a woman that does not like sex. I do not mind it, I just do not want it too often. Twice a month is more than enough. Is there any chance that I am going to find a man with similar interests that isn’t into daily or weekly sex? 2x a month is never enough for the guys I have tried to date thus far.
-Sexless
A: Yes, there is hope you will find men who do not feel the pressure to have sex. As long as you are honest about it from the beginning, and if you are trying online dating, this is the type of information you may want to share in your profile. Let them know what makes you a great potential partner and that you have limits on the amount of sex you can comfortably have. Make it clear that you would be very accepting of men who are struggling with sex in their own way (for example, men who are impotent) and would prefer their companionship. You will eventually find someone if you are being human and you are being honest.
Q: How do you know if a girl you hang out with as friends like you? I hang out with her as friends, and she says we are best friends, but I want to know if she sees me as more than just a friend. Is there a way to tell, without actually asking her out? What are the signs I should be looking for? Is it even possible for friends to end up together in a relationship and does it work out?
-Waiting For Her
A: I happen to know of a few couples that started out as very good friends and ended up as couples. Although some people are resistant to it, it can happen and when it does, they can have great relationships. But you are going to have to take a risk. You are going to have to ask her out and let her know how you feel if you want to take your friendship into a relationship. If you aren’t willing to risk it, then it will not happen for you. If you try to change from being best friends to becoming more, and it does not work out, you have to be willing to risk losing her completely in order for you to try to get to the next level. It can work but you have to risk.