It takes just 10 seconds to demonstrate that sexual lubricants enhance lovemaking:
- Close your mouth and dry your lips.
- Run a finger lightly over them, paying attention to how this feels.
- Now, lick your lips.
- Run a finger lightly over your moistened lips.
- Notice any difference?
If you found that caressing moist lips felt more sensual, sexual lubricants can help you enjoy more pleasurable lovemaking—immediately.
Don’t take my word for it. In a recent study, researchers at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute asked 2,500 women to rate their lovemaking with and without a lubricant. The women rated lubricated sex substantially more enjoyable.
In the finger-on-lips exercise, the lubricant was saliva. It’s effective, available, and free. But saliva is more watery than slippery, and it dries quickly. To enhance lovemaking, most people find commercial lubricants work better.
Sex guides often overlook lubricants, mentioning them only in passing for older women experiencing menopausal vaginal dryness. But in the Indiana study, lubricants enhanced sex for women of all ages.
Lubricants also help men. They enhance masturbation, and if you place a drop on the head of the penis before donning a condom, you may notice more enjoyable intercourse. Just be sure someone holds onto the base of the condom during intercourse. Having lube under condoms boosts pleasure, but it also increases the risk of slip-offs.
Most sex researchers have also ignored lubricants. In their landmark “Sex in America” survey, University of Chicago researchers asked nothing about them. However, the survey asked women if they’d suffered vaginal lubrication problems during the previous year. Almost 20 percent said yes. This suggests that millions of Americans are unaware of lubricants, which, in seconds, often eliminate this problem.
In the 1960s, pioneering sex researchers William Masters, M.D., and Virginia Johnson described vaginal lubrication as the hallmark of arousal in women, paralleling erection in men. They maintained that the vagina produces lubrication quickly as women become aroused.
While this is often true, many perfectly normal young women are slow to produce natural lubrication, and when they do, they don’t produce much. Then, starting as early as 40, menopausal vaginal dryness becomes an issue. Meanwhile, porn stories typically imply that every woman self-lubricates immediately. “When he kissed me, I soaked my undies!” Actually, it’s just as likely for women to feel erotically aroused and not produce much lubrication. Reasons include: individual differences, aging, the menstrual cycle, stress, jet lag, extended lovemaking, and drugs, notably: alcohol, cigarettes, antihistamines, cold formulas, birth control pills, marijuana, antidepressants, and anything that causes dry mouth.
Four types of lubricants are available over-the-counter at pharmacies: water-based, oil-based, petroleum-based, and silicone-based. Each has advantages and disadvantages.
Most lubricants are water-based. They’re widely available, inexpensive, safe with latex contraceptives, don’t stain bed linens, and during oral sex, small amounts are safe to ingest. But the water-based lubricants may dry out. Either apply more, or refresh them with water or saliva. They rinse off easily with water.
Oil-based lubricants include: vegetable and nut oils, and Crisco. The former can be used on the genitals. Crisco is a popular lube for anal play. Oil-based lubes are safe to ingest and safe with latex contraceptives. However, they may feel greasy and may stain linens and clothing. They require soap and water to wash off.
Petroleum-based lubes include Vaseline and baby oil. They destroy latex and should never be used with condoms, diaphragms, or cervical caps. Don’t use petroleum lubricants inside the vagina. They are difficult to wash out, may cause irritation, and change vaginal chemistry, increasing the risk of infection. They should not be ingested, and they may stain linens.
Silicone lubricants feel silky and are not messy. They retain their slickness longer than water-based lubes. They don’t damage latex and are safe on the vulva, clitoris, and penis, and in the vagina and anus. They do not stain linens or clothing. It’s not clear if they’re safe to ingest, so don’t.
Don’t apply lubricants directly on lovers’ genitals. They may feel cold and jarring. Apply a small amount to your hand, rub it between your fingers to warm it, and then caress your lover with lubricated fingers.
If you use condoms, be careful with lubricants. They increase the risk of slip-offs. Have intercourse gently and when the man withdraws, one lover should hold the condom onto the base of the penis.
Wetter is better. Many sex therapists recommend lubricants every time, whether or not they’re necessary to prevent discomfort. As the new study shows, lubricants make lovemaking more enjoyable—in about 10 seconds.
Hebernick, D. et al. “Association of Lubricant Use with Women’s Sexual Pleasure, Satisfaction, and Genital Symptoms,” Journal of Sexual Medicine (2010) epub ahead of print.