Can you play and keep coronavirus at bay?
With establishments reopening, including restaurants, bars, nightclubs, sex clubs, it’s tempting to get out into the world again and resume our “normal” lives…including releasing all the sexual frustration you’ve been building these last few months during social isolation.
BUT WAIT A HOT MINUTE!
Before you go out there and live your best—and sexiest—life, remember that just because places have reopened, it doesn’t mean COVID-19 has disappeared.
So, how can we safely navigate sex and dating in our new reality and ongoing coronavirus pandemic?
Here are some things to keep in mind, whether you’re exploring the wide world of dating, or you and your partner(s) are in an open relationship.
Know Your Risks
The safest sex you can have is with yourself, so masturbate away!
There’s absolutely no way to play with other people that’s 100% risk-free, which is true of coronavirus as well as any sexually transmitted infection (STI) or sexually transmitted disease (STD).
But you CAN assess your personal risk factors, as well as those of your potential partner(s), and make the most informed decision possible.
COVID is tricky and doesn’t discriminate based on age or gender. Anyone can get it and/or pass it on to others, even if they’re asymptomatic. It can also take 1-14 days for people to develop symptoms if they do have it, so even if someone says they “feel fine,” it’s impossible to know if they have the virus without specifically getting tested. Also, even if someone had the virus before, it doesn’t mean they’re immune to getting it again. There’s still a lot that’s unknown about the novel coronavirus, so being as safe as possible is definitely important.
Find Out the Establishment’s Safety Measures
Going on a date to a bar or sex club again after all these months of confinement sounds like fun, right? Before you venture out, it’s best to first learn what protective measures these establishments are putting in place to ensure the safety of their staff members and their clients.
For instance, are they taking reservations in advance to make sure they respect the legal limits of how many people are allowed on the premises at one time? Are they doing temperature checks at the door? Are masks required? Are they doing anything special to accommodate social distancing? Will there be disinfectant readily available? If you’re going to a sex club, are the play areas being cleaned in any special way? Are those areas well-ventilated?
Ask questions before you go out, whether over the phone or online, to learn if you’ll be in an environment you feel comfortable in, or if you think it’s too high-risk for you.
Ask Potential Partners About Their Statuses
Whether you’re dating or in some form of an open relationship, chances are, you’re going to be talking to your partners before having sex to get to know them a bit and to know if, for instance, they have an STI or STD.
It’s normal to have those conversations to assess those usual risk factors, and the same is true about finding out about someone’s potential risk of COVID.
For instance, if I’m asking a potential playmate about whether they use protection during sex and they say they only have bareback sex without condoms, that’s too risky for my personal comfort, and it’s my choice to say no to playing with them.
It’s a good idea to ask potential partners questions, such as whether they’ve had any symptoms within the last 14 days, if they’ve been diagnosed with COVID-19, if they’re socially distancing, if they’ve been in risky interactions with others who might have had the virus, and so forth.
Keep this in mind: if they brush off your questions and don’t think talking about protection is important, then how safe are they being with other potential partners, not just with COVID, but with STIs and STDs?
Create a Safe Sex Pod
If you’re in an open relationship or dating multiple partners, it can be tempting to play with new partners, have group sex, and do all the wonderfully sexy things you were doing before.
If you insist on having group sex, try to limit the group size as much as possible. “The more, the merrier” is not the case right now!
Your safest bet is to select a few partners who are being careful about their health and be sexual with only those people… and be able to trust that they’re being equally safe with the other partners they’re with.
Sex with strangers can be hot, but unfortunately, this isn’t the best time to get physical with someone whose health and risk factors you don’t know.
Protection During Sex
During sex, we’re moaning, panting, and talking dirty to our partner(s), which can spread the virus even farther and make it extra risky because of our close proximity. Wearing a mask during sex and avoiding kissing are crucial!
The virus is usually passed on through small droplets from the nose or mouth, like when a person with COVID-19 is coughing, sneezing, and even speaking. There’s some evidence that the virus can be found in feces, so rimming without using barriers is not recommended. I’d even go a step further and say that it’s possible that the virus can be present in urine and other bodily fluids, so try to reduce your exposure to those as much as possible.
So, keep practicing safe sex to reduce your risk of coronavirus and, of course, to prevent the usual STIs and STDs. Use condoms and dental dams for oral and penetrative sex, and latex gloves for manual stimulation. Make sure you change those barriers when you switch between oral, vaginal, and anal sex, as well as between partners (if you’re engaging in group sex).
Practice Basic Hygiene
Regularly washing your hands with soap and water and using alcohol-based hand disinfectant can help protect you against any cold or flu, including coronavirus. Wash up before and after sex… which hopefully you were doing before, anyway! (Do NOT use alcohol-based disinfectant on or in your genitals!)
Surfaces can also be contaminated with the virus, so you can get it if you touch those surfaces or objects and then touch your eyes, nose, or mouth. If you’re having sex at a sex club or a place where other people are touching those surfaces, the risk is higher, and it’s going to be virtually impossible to clean those surfaces as quickly as they’re getting dirty and the action intensifies.
At sex clubs, try to play in areas where others haven’t been before, and disinfect and wipe down areas that might have been used by others before you before playing there. Or do it standing up!
Which brings me to…
Go For the Glory!
The New York City Department of Health released “Safer Sex and COVID-19” guidelines, which are actually quite kinky: “Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.”
Gloryholes, anyone?!
Don’t forget, even if you’re using a gloryhole to play, you still need to use condoms and other barriers for safe sex, and practice the basic hygiene methods outlined above.
Try Mutual Masturbation
Masturbating at a distance in front of your partner, or multiple partners, lets you explore some voyeurism and exhibitionism while reducing your risk.
You can, for instance, meet up with a potential play partner in your respective cars, parking far enough away to respect social distancing, and open the car doors to better watch each other masturbate. If you want to hear each other better, keep your phones on in the car so you can get a stereo version of your partner’s moaning and groaning.
If you still aren’t comfortable being that close to your partner, then you can still watch each other masturbate over video, which is always sexy!
Make Your Own Decisions
There are definitely folks out there who aren’t taking precautions, refuse to wear masks, and think COVID-19 isn’t a big deal.
If you’re not one of those people, and you’re concerned about your and others’ health, you’ll likely have to make some decisions that prioritize your health.
Don’t compromise on wearing protection for safer sex and interactions, and don’t let yourself be pressured into situations that will make you feel anxious, uncomfortable, or exposed.
ANYONE who tries to coerce or pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do—whether it’s not wearing a condom or a mask, or otherwise disrespecting any of your boundaries, and makes you feel unsafe—is not someone who deserves to be playing with you in the first place.
While this isn’t a totally comprehensive list of ways to reduce your risk and protect yourself and others from coronavirus (as well as other STIs and STDs!), I hope this helps give you some perspective when you’re getting ready to play during pandemic times.
Don’t forget: sexting with your partner(s) is 100% safe and always fun, whether you’re sexting as foreplay or using it as your only source of sexual stimulation right now.
For more Lexual advice, check out lexisylver.com and find me on social media on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook.
Until next time, Stay Lexual.
Lexi