Foot Fetishism
Q: I have a question that I have been trying to research, but unfortunately come up unsatisfied with. Why and how do foot fetishes occur? I understand that a lot of people, including myself, find themselves enthralled with feet from a young age, but why does this occur, and how does it occur? And why do people have specific preferences with feet?
A: I recommend you read an article on this site: Fetishes: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, by Gonzalo R. Quintana Zunino, PhD, and Conall MacCionnaith, PhD. I share here a snippet of the article, which may give you an answer to your question.
“Based on principles of learning, fetishes are believed to be the product of early and rewarding sexual experiences being associated with other objects, practices, or particular areas of the body that are not necessarily sexual. […] As for early imprinting, there are a few interesting points to note. We know from animal studies that sexual preferences are heavily influenced by early experiences. […] Foot fetishes are one of the most common fetishes that people report. One potential reason for this is that the brain region where our sensory and motor information of feet is represented is really close to the region where the genitals are represented. Because they are close to each other, it is quite possible that foreplay, including feet rubbing or sucking, and sexual stimulation could potentially establish neural connections between these two regions more easily than other parts of our body.
My Boyfriend Wants Me to Have Sex With Other Guys
Q: I love my boyfriend, he is great, and we have been together for 12 years. In the last few years, he has been wanting me to have sex with other guys, which I have with him. Like a threesome. Now he wants me to go out and have sex with another guy alone. I don’t want to have sex with another guy if my boyfriend is not there.
Then he told me that he also wants me to have group sex. I have told him I am not comfortable with that, he just says oh you would like it once it started. I don’t think I would. I told him I might be comfortable to have sex with him and three other guys. He then tells me that other guys don’t like the boyfriend there, because they won’t be their selves, and I wouldn’t be myself. I told him I would feel like I was cheating on him and I don’t want anything to ruin our relationship. What do you think I should do? I know this is a crazy question, but I swear it’s true.
A: The big question is: How do you feel about having sex with other guys?? You say you are not comfortable, so the answer is NO. If he continues to pressure you, that frankly is not a good sign for the health of your relationship. If this is the case, I recommend you talk this issue through with a marriage/relationship therapist.
Fetishes and Relationships
Q: I have been masturbating since I was younger and the porn I watched was pretty tame, but the older I got the stuff I watch changed into fetishes. I would never tell anybody, not even my partner, even though my partner knows I watch porn. I feel ashamed after I watch but it doesn’t change my preferences. Why do I feel bad? Should I tell my partner?
A: Lots of people have fetishes. As long as you are watching stuff that is legal, and doesn’t harm anyone, then it is part of your sexuality and nothing to be ashamed of. The question is how important these fetishes are to you? Do you absolutely need the fetish to get turned on? Does this interfere with the enjoyment you get with your partner? Before you tell your partner about your fetish (which you have not shared here, so I don’t have any idea of the nature of your fetish or how “extreme” it is), you may want to find out how she reacts if you just talk to her generally about fetishes without specifically sharing your own. If she reacts with shock or disgust, you may not want to tell her. You need to decide how important that fetish is to you. If it is a fetish you wish to incorporate into your sex life with a partner (as in, one you can’t live without), then you need to be with a partner who is ok with it.