Knocking On The Back Door
Q: I have heard many times throughout my life (thanks, TV shows and mainstream magazines) that the ultimate, best, sexiest, most mind-blowing thing you can do for a guy is…stick a finger up his behind before he cums. But like, how realistic is this? Am I truly missing out by not doing this? Is this why some guys I know are absolutely obsessed with their exes? Is this truly and absolutely necessary to become a so-called sex goddess?
A: First of all, you do not just stick a finger up his butt without asking him if this is what he wants! There are a lot of nerve endings in the anal area, and a finger inside can massage the prostate gland (like the female G-spot). Some guys love it, and others don’t want anything up there. I really don’t see what this has to do with being obsessed with an ex. Something completely unrelated could be going on there. Being willing to do it is great if this is what your partner wants. This requires a conversation about sex with your partner.
What’s The Deal With It?
Q: It’s something I’ve definitely heard about in passing but never really looked into—tantric sex. Is it really all it’s cracked up to be? I definitely have some “new age” tendencies but I don’t really see the appeal. What do you know about the “why” and the “how” of it? Is it really worth it?
A: Tantric sex is a fascinating practice which to me is really about being in the moment, connecting with your partner, and without the goal of orgasm. There are many great books on this practice, and even some basic couple exercises that anyone can do without necessarily being a “practitioner” of Tantra. It’s not for everyone, and it really is a matter of personal preference. I would read up on it and maybe even try a couple of the easy and basic exercises and see if it does anything for you. If it doesn’t, so be it. We all have different things that do it for us.