Excessive Masturbation
Q: Hello I’m writing this to hopefully get some answers regarding my boyfriend and his excessive masturbation. It’s so bad he sometimes prefers his hand over me or sex with me and when I do oral on him it’s like he doesn’t enjoy it anymore because of him jerking off so much. I give him oral whenever he wants it, not when I want to give it. I have a high sex drive and he doesn’t return the oral favor to me at all anymore. Please, I’m desperate for answers and he’s got a spot on the top of his penis, like a vein or blood vessel raised up. I don’t know if it’s from jerking off too much or from using his penis pump too much. And he’s also got premature ejaculation pretty bad sometimes, sex only goes for less than 10 minutes, and he’s ready to nut and it’s like he holds back when he’s coming. Please help me.
A: Your boyfriend doesn’t exactly sound like the most giving guy around. It sounds possible that he may have a sex addiction. You say he masturbates excessively and uses a penis pump (probably because after many ejaculations, he needs help to get an erection), so it sounds compulsive to me. He may also be very used to his own hand, or one way of getting himself off, so it’s the way he prefers. As for the premature ejaculation, I’m not sure what you mean. You don’t say if it’s 10 seconds or 10 minutes. If it’s 10 minutes, that is not premature. If it’s 10 seconds, I would be surprised since he masturbates so much. As for the vein issue, some men have more visible ones than others. The size and shape of veins can change over time and with sexual activity, or even with injury (but this would usually involve some pain or other difficulties). Usually there is no need to be concerned if you simply have more pronounced veins on the penis. If the man has other symptoms like pain with erection, then he should see a doctor.
Sex Addiction
Q: I have a porn addiction and need some help.
A: Firstly, to assess whether you have a problem with sexual compulsivity, go to this website: www.iitap.com, or this one to take a short assessment test. If you identify yourself as a sex addict, I would assume that you are not at all comfortable with your sexual behavior. In this case, it would be important for you to seek out therapy with a therapist who specializes in this area (which you can locate in the above website). Following that, it will be important to address any underlying mental health issues, including past traumas.
Frequent Masturbation
Q: Is it okay to touch myself on a daily basis? Can it harm my body? Or my penis? I masturbate two to three times a day and every time I cum, I feel like I’m ejaculating less and less. Is that something to worry about? Does masturbating too much affect the growth of my penis?
A: Masturbation is a natural form of sexuality. It is a great way to get to know your body and to fulfill your sexual desires if you do not have a partner (it’s also perfectly fine if you do have a partner). Too much masturbation is when you do it to a point that it interferes with your daily life or your relationship. Adolescents and young adults tend to masturbate at a greater frequency as this is when there is a peak in testosterone (responsible for our sexual desire). The more you ejaculate however in one day, the less liquid there will be. This is normal. This will have no effect on the growth of your penis. However, you might notice that after you have had several orgasms, your erections for subsequent times might be less hard, thus making your penis appear smaller (since it is not fully engorged with blood). All will return to normal when you give it a rest.