You know how there are certain people you come across who you’re just drawn to? It can sometimes be inexplicable. It’s as if they’re surrounded by some force that just draws you to them. Some of the most alluring people might not have all of the things that you might expect someone attractive to have. Maybe they are a bit overweight, or perhaps they have crooked teeth. Still, despite any flaws that person might have, there’s something there that makes you want to get to know them better. This is what we call attraction.
If you think about the word attraction and the concept behind it, it’s one complex phenomenon. It really isn’t easy to define what attraction is or even what you’re talking about when you talk about it. That’s because there are no hard and fast formulas for attraction.
There can’t be because everyone is different, and everyone (thank goodness) is attracted to different things. When you think about it, you can be attracted to someone in all kinds of different ways. You can be attracted to someone physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc. And those things all come together to make up your own “rules of attraction”.
Sure, you can say that attraction’s all about looks or how someone dresses, but when you think about it, it’s really a lot more complicated than that. Attraction is, and always has been, a bit of a mystery. So what is it that makes someone attractive? First off, just because one person doesn’t find you attractive doesn’t mean someone else won’t. We all have different tastes, which can be affected by many factors, including our culture. Even so, the fact that different people like different things is one thing that makes “the rules of attraction” so difficult to pin down and define.
However, I do think that there are certain things that are pretty universally pleasing and attractive. For one thing, I think that a nice smile is universally attractive—it’s hard to find someone attractive if they always have a deadpan look on their face. The really nice thing about a smile is that it’s a sign of warmth and openness, a welcoming expression, indicating that the person is enjoying themselves. And that is certainly attractive.
A person’s personality certainly plays a large part in their attractiveness, and some personality traits can improve a person’s looks, and sometimes a personality can take away from a person’s looks. You just have to hang around long enough for the person to open their mouth.
Beyond a nice smile, there’s another thing that I think pretty much everyone finds charming—self-confidence. You’ll hear many people say that they find self-confidence a turn-on. Self-confidence is not cockiness. Self-confidence comes from knowing that you have something to offer to the world, and not being afraid to admit it. The difference between that and arrogance, is that when you are arrogant, you have an air of superiority about you. Not only do you think you have something to offer the world, but you also think that you’re God’s gift to the world, and that’s the very opposite of attractive. Self-confidence draws people to you when you have it, and it draws you to other people when they have it.
If you think that your appeal could use a bit of work, read on.
If people find you attractive, you probably know it because you’ve probably noticed that people are drawn to you. If you don’t have it, there are some easy ways to increase your attractiveness quotient.
- Smile more, it shows self-confidence.
- Work on your self-esteem: There are many online sources for self-esteem exercises you can do by yourself or seek help from a therapist.
- Work on how you present yourself, from your grooming to how you dress.
Remember, this doesn’t mean that you have to change your physical attributes or your personality since we all want to be accepted for who we are. However, making a few simple changes can help if you feel you need help in this department.
This is just part one in this series—Part II is coming soon!