I’ve heard a lot of women tell stories of first dates with men who didn’t make a good impression. An attractive woman told me she had arranged to meet a man at a café. She arrived first and sat at a table waiting for him. When he arrived and saw her, he nervously said, “I forgot my wallet in the car.” He went out but he didn’t come back. He later emailed to apologize. He did not make a good first impression.
As the saying goes, you only have one chance to make a first impression—so to make a great first impression, make sure you have everything going for you and you make the woman feel special—so she’ll want a second date.
1) Be a man with a plan. When you ask a woman out, have a plan of what you think you’d both enjoy doing and suggest it to her. It makes her feel special when she sees you’ve taken the time to come up with a plan. If you can’t plan a date—even where to go for a cup of coffee, she may wonder how you would handle the challenges of marriage and family life.
2) Act confident. Women like men who are confident. If you don’t feel confident, ask yourself how would a man who is confident act in this situation? Act that way. Also, try watching how confident men act and learn from them.
3) Dress nicely. Women usually dress nicely when going on a date because they know men like to be with women who look their best—and you should be sure to compliment the way she looks. A woman also appreciates it when a man takes the time to dress nicely for a date—it shows you have confidence.
4) If you pick her up in your car, open the car door for her. This may sound old-fashioned, but it will make her feel special.
5) Be on time. If you’re late meeting her, she may feel you don’t respect her. If you’re going to be late, call her and apologize. Be sure you have a good reason for being late.
6) Don’t cancel the first date unless you have a very good reason. Canceling a first date without a good reason also shows a lack of respect.
7) Pay for the first date. If a woman offers to pay or to split the bill—she may be testing you to see if you will insist on paying. Insist on paying, it makes her feel special.
8) Don’t just make small talk. Ask her about herself and listen to what she says. It shows you are interested in her as a person and want to learn about her. Make eye contact and use her name. Don’t just talk about yourself—it can turn a woman off.
9) Switch off your cell phone and put it in your pocket. Focus your attention on her. If you need to keep your phone on because you expect an urgent call—explain it to her and only answer your phone for that call.
10) Don’t ask about her former partners on the first date. It can bring back negative memories and she may associate those negative feelings with being with you and not want to go out with you again.
11) Don’t badmouth your ex-partners. If she asks about your exes, she may be looking to know how you treated other women in the past. Tell her what you learned from past relationships and how that experience enabled you to grow as a person.
12) Don’t hide important information about yourself. For example, if you have children, let her know. If you wait to tell her, she may wonder what else you’re hiding from her.
I’ve also heard stories from women about great first dates where the man made her feel special and it led to a long-term relationship. A woman told me that when a friend set her up with a man, the friend told him that her birthday was coming up. He took her to a café and surprised her with a cake and the waiters singing happy birthday to her. He made a great first impression.
After you make a great first impression, start planning a second date!
To learn more about being the man that a woman loves and respects; or how to inspire the man in your life to be that man, take a look at my books. Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants: Timeless wisdom on being a man, which has been translated into 24 languages, shares insights on how men can improve their relationships. How to Get Your Man to Wear the Pants … So You Don’t Have To: Inspiring him to make more decisions, take the lead and STOP LEAVING IT ALL TO YOU! is strategies on how to get a man to do his share of taking charge. If you have questions or are interested in coaching: www.ElliottKatz.com. Twitter: @Elliott_Katz.