For many folks, it isn’t too hard to communicate with partners about common turn-ons, such as enjoying a light spanking or a foot massage. But what if you are turned on by having a snake crawl all over you while you are being fucked? Or you are turned on by the idea of you as an amputee having sex with someone (a fetish known as apotemnophilia)? In my travels and time on earth, I have come across a couple of folks with out-there fetishes and after speaking to them about their experiences, I have gathered some helpful advice for folks that may be into some intense, but certainly less common, sexy thangs.
Meet Fart Fetish Philip
My fascinating journey into alternative fetishes began one hot summer day in my favorite place in the world, New Orleans. I rented a bike and went on a long ride to this well-known kava shop on Oak Street. As I got my drink I saw a friendly-looking bloke sitting close by, let’s call him Phillip. We began speaking and I told him I was in the field of sex education. He seemed interested in chatting and said that he was aroused by something unique. However, he was a regular at the cafe so he couldn’t get too into it there. We decided to go for a walk to a hill facing the Mississippi River, where we drank some kava and had a deeply fascinating discussion about sex, fetish, and well…farts.
Philip disclosed to me that he’s super turned on by farts, specifically the “louder and grosser” variety. He described that he first realized he was into farts in eighth grade when an attractive girl let one rip while walking up the stairs ahead of him. Philip remembers the girl looking embarrassed, the intense smell, and being insanely aroused for the rest of the day.
He went onto explain that the first time a woman farted on his face it was the most intimate and beautiful—yet also gross—moments of his sex life to date. Philip used to be embarrassed by his fetish and only brought it up when he was drunk, which he was afraid made him come off as that strange creepy fart fella. Initially, he experienced a lot of horrible responses when he disclosed, where people would laugh at him, say it’s gross and in the worst case ask him WTF was wrong with him. However, after engaging with a number of open and non-judgmental people, he has learned to accept and enjoy this part of himself and has developed a strategy regarding when and how to bring up his fetish.
Meet Georgio Carpet
I first met Georgio at a sex-positive event. I was walking towards the bar and noticed a nice clumpy carpet facing the bar. I stepped on it and leaned towards the bartender to order a drink. I then felt it move, looked down at the carpet and saw friendly eyes staring up at me through a hole in the carpet. After I got over the shock, I leaned down and introduced myself to Georgio. He explained that he would love for me to step on him again, this time on purpose, explaining that he really enjoyed having his head stepped on in bare feet, if I was open to it.
At the end of the event, he got out of the carpet and we got to talking about his fetish. He explained, “you know some people want to grow up and be a fireman or a doctor, well I’ve always wanted to be a carpet.” He went on to describe that when he was little all the games he played with his friends involved him being a carpet that was stepped on.
He has designed his schedule so that he is able to be a carpet at fetish and sex-positive events up to five days a week. Despite the two-hour drive each way to the events in NYC, he described wishing that he could find more events and be a carpet every night, as he feels it is him tapping into the best parts of himself. As a result of stigma towards out there fetishes, we might assume that a carpet man might have a strange personality. However, Georgio appeared to be a pleasant, intelligent, kind, and very “normal” fellow in his late 50s/early 60s.
I later helped orchestrate an event where 15 people stepped on Georgio, breaking his personal (and maybe world?) record of most humans stepping on a human carpet. I went on Fetlife and found that there are actually five other carpet men living in the United States! Georgio was so inspiring because he was so blatantly self-accepting, clearly being true to his nature and living the life that made him joyful.
What do you do if you have an extreme fetish you’d like to explore?
- It is of utmost importance to remember that even if what you are into isn’t yet known or accepted by society, there is nothing wrong with you. I’m going to say that again for those in the back, assuming your fetish doesn’t hurt anybody or violate consent, there is nothing wrong with having extreme desires and fantasies! It is an exciting and unique component of yourself, that in time you can find a unique and exciting way to explore.
- We live in a society that has some work to do on our journey to becoming sex-positive. As a result, some people may respond negatively when you disclose your fetish. I suggest at the beginning, being thoughtful about who to share your unique desires with, selecting people that you know to be open and non-judgmental. As Philip shared with me, it is important to acknowledge that not everyone will accept your kink. However, you can and will find someone who does. He suggests trying to be light about it and to not take yourself or others too seriously.
- Respect your partner’s boundaries. Of course, if your fetish is something that is important to you, it makes sense that you would bring it up from time to time. If your partner is not open to engaging with it, respect that, and don’t push them to try something that they are not comfortable with.
- There is nothing wrong with keeping your fetish as something exclusively for yourself, your own fantasies, and pornography. For some, it takes years to find the right person to play in person with. Also, some people are turned on by something in theory, but may not actually have the desire to make it a reality. That is also totally fine.
- Check out Fetlife and Reddit to find someone who may have a similar fetish. It can help you feel less alone in your desire and perhaps help you connect with like-minded folk who may be interested in engaging in your fetish with you.
- Be bold. Carpet man is unequivocally a carpet. Phillip is a fully accepting fart enjoying fella. We only live once and if there is something that you are into, you have the power to make it a reality. Work on self-acceptance and respecting boundaries, while being true to yourself and your desires!