Masturbation and Weight Loss
Q: I’m a 19 going on 20-year-old male teenage virgin. My masturbation habits/sex drive has me a little bit concerned. I am able to masturbate up to about six times a day if I wanted to and I’m suspicious that I am losing weight because of masturbating too much. Is this possible? Is this too much masturbation for one day? Can I lose weight because of masturbating too much? Help me, please.
A: As a 19-year-old, you are at your peak for testosterone production, which is why your libido is so high. Not unusual for people your age to masturbate/have sex frequently in the same day. But I highly doubt that this is the cause of your weight loss, unless you are forgetting to eat. If you are masturbating six times every single day, then I wonder if you have time for other activities, including eating proper meals. A potential problem masturbating frequently on a daily basis is that when you finally get a partner, you may find that you have trouble ejaculating because of how used to your own hand you are. It may take you some time to get used to other forms of stimulation. I would also question how compulsive your masturbation is getting. If you feel you have to masturbate that often and feel like you are losing control over your urges, then this is also a problem (like an addiction).
Masturbation Side Effects
Q: I want to know if masturbating once a week can lead to infertility or problems in married life, or any other problems. If yes, what are these problems?
A: Masturbating once a week will in no way cause any damage to you. It has no effect on fertility. It should not interfere with your married life, unless you choose masturbation over sex with your partner regularly.
Low Sex Drive After a Break-Up
Q: Ever since I broke up with my girlfriend I’ve had difficulty maintaining my sex drive to even finish masturbating. I’ve never slept with my ex so I’m kind of worried why and how this happened.
A: Breakups are difficult and require a certain grieving process. Feeling down is normal, and can certainly affect your sexual desire. Give yourself some time to move past this breakup and don’t be too hard on yourself. Your sexual desire and usual self will bounce back,
New Fetishes
Q: I don’t why but one day I was watching a girl use a strap-on on a man, and since then I’ve been watching strap-on porn a lot. I felt like I wanted to try it, so one night I decided to do it. Nothing really happened and I didn’t really like it, but every time I’m watching a porn with strap-ons, I still get hard and want to have sex.
A: Often we fantasize about and get turned on by things we would not/do not enjoy in real life. Maybe what gets you turned on is that the woman is the one being dominant (penetrating) and you identify with the guy who is being submissive. To find out more about dominant/submissive relationships, check out our blog posts on this site on the subject.
How do I Stop Masturbating?
Q: I believe I have one or multiple of the issues you described in your ED post—PIED and lack of stimulation for “real” sex sounds very likely. I am interested in taking a break from masturbation, as you recommended, but have never been able to do so successfully. It is discouraging, since I believe that my brain and/or penis could rewire itself if I allowed it. Do you have any tips or recommendations that can help me stop masturbating? Willpower alone does not seem to be enough. Thanks.
A: Taking a break from masturbation, if you have been compulsive about it and/or it has impacted your sexual relationship negatively, is a process and won’t happen just with willpower. You will need to find other outlets for your energy. Find some activities that you enjoy that can distract you from the urge to masturbate (like a new hobby). Putting that energy into creative things is helpful—learn to play an instrument, paint, draw, write stories, etc. Get physical—start a new sport, go to the gym. Do something that makes you feel productive like volunteering. Avoid situations or triggers (much like an alcoholic will avoid walking into a bar). That may mean reducing your stress, altering your schedule, escaping boredom and limiting your alone time.